A Completely Unremarkable Night
by Doctor Strangelove
Summary: Matt, Ted, and Bennet spend an average night in a hotel room, and after a few drinks one thing leads to another... Slash [MattTedBennet]


It wasn't like they had planned it. Not at all. It just sort of… happened. Those kinds of things just _happen_ sometimes. Hell, that's usually how they come about; no one plans anything. You're just sitting around in your hotel room with your buddies, and then the next you thing you know you're on your knees sucking off a radioactive caveman while the bespectacled businessman that kidnapped the both of you watches. Not that that's what happened. Well, it _is _what happened, but not like that. Definitely not like that.

See, their road trip was pretty boring. Mind-numbingly boring, in fact. So when Matt, Ted, and Bennet saw that just a mile and half away from their tiny, sleazy motel was a bar, they decided to get out and see what sort of entertainment could be had at The Wild Biscuit. It turns out the main attraction of the lovely and certainly not cockroach-infested establishment was a wide variety of cheap beers with which one could get shit-faced quite easily. So that's what they did. They got so drunk in fact, that they ended up having to walk back the mile and a half to their tiny, sleazy motel. It was actually more than a mile and half walk because halfway there Bennet realized he had left the room key back at The Wild Biscuit, but they were far too inebriated to do the math and figure out how far they had walked exactly.

None of them were tired when they got back to the motel, so they had to find someway to amuse themselves. Nobody brought any cards along, so a nice, relaxing game of Chinese Rummy was just right out of the question. And the motel was sadly lacking a copy of Monopoly, so really, watching a movie was their only choice. They piled on Bennet's bed because Ted's had a dark and unidentifiably stain, and there were only two beds and it was Matt's turn to sleep on the floor (it always seems to be Matt's turn to sleep on the floor), so they really had no choice _but_ to all sit on Bennet's bed.

Porn wasn't anyone's first suggestion as to what to watch, but the motel was cheap and their choices were either _Gremlins 2 _or _Hardbody Boot Camp_, so porn it was. And it was bad porn too. They laughed at the cheesy acting and obviously fake boobs, and everyone was having a good time. Then the conversation started to fade as all that cheap beer from The Wild Biscuit kicked in, and they all started to remember how long it had been since they'd gotten to spend some good quality intimate time with their respective wives. Then there was just silence, and they were starting to think, _Maybe this porn's not so bad. Fake boobs are still boobs_.

Matt's not sure exactly which one of them unzipped their pants first, only that it wasn't him. I mean, sure, his hand was _down_ his pants, but he wasn't exposing himself to the world. But it wasn't really the world; it was just Bennet and Ted, and whoever did it first they had both decided that their genitalia could use some fresh air. And if Bennet and Ted were both doing it, why shouldn't Matt? There were all friends. Well, close enough to friends anyway. It wasn't anything serious. And it certainly wasn't the first time Matt had been in a situation like that. Probably not the first time for Bennet and Ted either. They'd all been to college, and circle jerks with your frat brothers wasn't an entirely unheard of practice. Not that Matt did that a lot, but he'd been in similar situations once or twice in his life.

So it's all going smoothly; everyone's having a good time when suddenly Matt felt a hand, _Bennet's_ hand, between his legs. And that's not exactly what Matt had been expecting, but he couldn't just tell him to stop because that's one of the rules of circle jerks: You don't talk. Aside from the exaggerated moans from the porn stars and the stifled groans of your companions, it's a fairly silent event. Matt crying out would just kill the atmosphere, and then they'd all be in just a super awkward position. So Matt didn't say anything, and it wasn't really that bad. Bennet's hand was warm and he was moving it with a rhythm that was familiar but just different enough to keep Matt from stopping him. And it would be rude not to reciprocate, so Matt slid his hand across the bed and grabbed hold of Bennet.

He responded with an appreciative grunt, but then Matt noticed that Ted's pace has slowed down a little as he looked on at Matt and Bennet's exchange. And they couldn't have Ted suddenly feeling awkward, and Matt's got a free hand, so he moved it on over and wrapped his fingers around Ted. And Ted, for his part, didn't object either (because No Talking is the rule), and timidly reached a hand towards Matt. Now Matt's no slouch in the trouser department, but he's not well-endowed enough to be jerked off easily by Bennet and Ted at the same time, so Bennet let go and allowed Ted to take over. But now Bennet's got a free hand, and it crept up Matt's chest, fingers brushing against his nipples as Bennet pushed Matt's shirt out of the way. The light touch was pleasant and contrasts nicely with Ted, who has gotten over any shyness he might have felt at first and was going about his task very enthusiastically, which translated to fast. And rough. It wasn't bad though, just different. But Matt's quickly learning to appreciate different.

Then Ted started to get hot. Too hot and glowing, and Matt's was trying to calm him down. So he moved his hand from Ted's crotch up to his shoulder, trying to shake some sense into him. But Matt was tired and drunk and the shaking just knocked him off the bed, and Ted was still glowing and a nuclear explosion is the last thing that night needed. Exploding would kill the mood faster than talking, and this wasn't the way Matt wanted to die, and it _really_ wasn't the way he wanted his body to be found. So he pulled himself up to his knees, and his hands were firmly holding onto Ted's thighs, and he hadn't been planning on doing what he did, but he had to find a way to calm the other man down and Ted was just right there in front of his face, so he just leaned his head forward a little bit and took the radioactive man in his mouth.

It stopped Ted's glowing. He relaxed back and entwined his fingers in the telepathic cop's hair as he gently bobbed his head up and down. Matt's _definitely_ never done anything like this before, and it was more than just a little different, it was an entirely new experience. But not an unpleasant one for either party. Matt was in fact very surprised at how much he was enjoying himself as he removed one hand from Ted's thigh and moved it down to stroke himself. Then Matt suddenly remembered Bennet, and he didn't want him to feel uncomfortable with what Matt and Ted were doing, but a quick glance revealed that Bennet does not look uncomfortable at all. Quite the contrary, he was fervently pumping away himself and really seemed to enjoy watching the two of them. Matt decided having a spectator wasn't so bad either.

But then he felt Ted began to spasm in his mouth, and he pulled away just in time to get a healthy dose of Ted's essence on the side of his face. Matt would've protested, but all the activity and the pride of knowing he got someone else off was enough to push Matt himself over the edge, and pretty soon he was spilling his own seed onto his feet. Bennet followed suit shortly after, making a decent mess on the bed sheets, but he was the one that had to sleep in them, so no one complained.

There was no talking afterwards either. Bennet just zipped up his jeans and headed into the bathroom for a shower. Matt wiped his face off with his shirt, and then cursed himself because that was his favorite shirt and now it had Ted on it. Ted just crawled into his own bed and changed the channel to _Gremlins 2_. Matt decided he was tired as well, and he had originally planned to try and convince Ted to share the bed with him (Lord knows he wasn't going to sleep with Bennet), but after the night's events he decided that would be just a little too awkward. So Matt grabbed a blanket from Bennet's bed and curled into a ball on the floor. Ted gave a small chuckle, but Matt didn't know if that was at his expense or the movie, but quickly determined it didn't matter and drifted off to sleep.

So it wasn't exactly something they planned on doing, and they certainly weren't going to be doing it again, but all in all it hadn't been a bad experience. Just a little different.


End file.
